CALM DOWN ABOUT NET NEUTRALITY.

Aries:

• is a sassy bitch, let’s just accept that. always answering back, they’d even answer back to any god (may it be diplomatically or sarcastic)
  
• always give people cheap gifts not because they’re broke but because they think that’s the only standard or gift you deserve
  
• has a huge disgust with humanity so they either get delusions of controlling the world or they avoid/limit their human interactions
  
• their logic is out of this world: it’s either you get mesmerised and see a new horizon or you end up getting crazy because you can’t get it
• beneath all their layers, they’re one of the smartest and hardworking people out there… always willing to help you study/work/etc.

Taurus: 

• their trigger word is literally food and all its proper nouns. they’d sell their souls for a ceaseless supply of food and they’d won’t regret
  
• literally possessive as fuck, aphrodite lives in their titties cos they dun calm down if they see someone circling around their man/woman.
• obsessed with getting shit organised y'all don’t even know. they will never move unless a very detailed blue print is in front of them.
• they will keep hustlin more than a twenty of you combined. they know and prioritise how precious time and money are.
• when they say they can’t do an errand/plea, dun quickly believe them at all cost or you’ll get a small surprise: they’ll do it after some while. 

Gemini: 

• know that archetype of a kind person who’ll obey & follow you to the death but has so many fucking personal motives? yep, that’s gemini.
  
• their knowledge and expertise are vastly scary; multilingual people and historians. they aint called GEMinis for nothing, hunty.
• for them, it’s a dog-eat-dog world. if you don’t match their pace, you’re basically out of their surviving list, whatever list that is.
• insanely in love and proud making other people swoon over them (oh the oozing warmth of being loved and respected) but says otherwise
• bad at remembering dates but that dun mean they love you less or you’re not that important to them, just believe in them.

Cancer:

• they dun talk much but best believe me, whenever they speak it’s either they gon hand you your ass or roast the living shit out of you
  
• are all terminally sarcastic bless their souls. they don’t have time for your bullshit, they don’t even have time for their own.
• they will never side or they will avoid picking a side. they’re the best people to rant cos they will literally get where you coming from.
• one of the sweetest and loving signs out there but for some reason, they tend to have some problems making real long time friends.
• always look brooding or even out of reach. that’s cos they’re afraid words/actions won’t come/show they way they really want them too.

Leo:

• so demure but once you get close to them/they know they have the upper control, they will fucking nag & bully everything
• but after the searing primadonna stage, these lions are all just smol precious clumsy beans who must be protected at all cost
• knows the traditional ways or romancing someone, like the flowers and cupcakes and shy yet formal asking you out for events/dates
• easily clouded by false/dark ideas and hard to snap them out of it. it takes another brave alpha who can help them out of the cray
• but don’t be fooled, these lions can be tamed and would be willing to tag along the right people for the rest of their life line.

Virgo:

• dont slack off in front of them, they will give your ass a whoop back to reality. trust me, they give so much vigour and moral to people.
  
• not easily scared of pretty much anything because they always think about the story/reason behind it, for this one, what made it scary?
• they can get super fucking salty and shady and they aint afraid of being salty and shady, for a good or bad reason whatsoever.
• they never fail to always see the bigger picture, that also means they’re not afraid to do everything to get to the biggest picture.
• loves having fun and enjoying life without taking advantage of things or forgetting to be humble and well-grounded.

Libra: 

• too pure for this world but these people have a skyrocketing tendencies to becoming a yandere (lol they probably already are)
  
• their aesthetic perfectionism sickness is practically beyond all earth signs combined: they’ll set fire on anything lower than their standards.
• too kind and angelic we dun deserve them. we also dun deserve their life sucking flirtatious killer charms. we just dun deserve then all in all
• these bitches love to meddle with other people’s business tho. either they save the situation or aggravate it, there’s no in between
• even with all the hate on their kind, libra people just keep their heads up and tryn’a understand and accept other people’s view of them.

Scorpio: 

• for the vagillionth time, y'all have to remember that these “””devil children””” are all just 4D weird bastards who easily space out.
  
• the sexy airheads we all get from anime. but dun cross them & their fambam, they won’t think twice about apathetically cutting you.
  
• everyone’s fairy godmother/father cos if they love you & they see you deserving, they will lavish &treat you so great. aint lying, dis the truth
  
• willing to learn from others but is obsessed with “i am the most mature one so my wisdom is the greatest and the only effective one”
• so many layers, like they’re literally never-ending. but after plucking all these layers out, you’ll see a fragile marshmallow baby inside 

Sagittarius:

• they need like a dozen of hobbies as outlets for their energy. if they don’t get the energy out, they become a host of a time bomb.
  
• insatiably absorbs all information of all kinds like a baby on his mom’s chest or a tic sucking out blood from a fresh catch: you choose
• no one really knows if they’re showing genuine reaction/emotion cos you don’t know if they’re forcing it or not or they dun even know too
• is the jack of all trades cos they have so many talents but can’t focus and drill hard on one cos they jump from different talent to another
• may come arrogant but always they always want everyone to be happy and enjoying the time, probably more than how libra wants it.

Capricorn: 

• always late on almost everything. insomniac children of the night, so no matter how dire the situation is, they’ll always be late. deal with it.
• condescending as fuck cos they know they can do pretty much anything please beware they are vicious machiavellians
• obsessed with segregating people in their lives; they don’t want their friends to socialise with their family, this group with that group, etc.
• avoids and gets easily tired with human interaction, but is magically brilliant with human interaction. their magic? idek ask them.
• after you pass their scrutinising sifting of people in their lives, you’ll just see a funny, dependent, happy-go-lucky, perverted side of them
  

Aquarius:

• also don’t like taking sides, will never jump onto anything without all the cards are seeable, yet also not afraid to speak up in the end.
  
• obsessed and deranged with their fanaticism of any horror shit idk how they can carry on with a fine stomach after all that scary jazz
• can never be controlled, they might seem controllable or easy to manoeuvre but spare your ass and don’t be fooled by this sign
• disappears and reappears at their own will, and doesn’t care about the consequences of their absence, they literally don’t care.
• in the end of the day, aquarius has no fucks to give any of the other signs. they don’t ask for a lot and they just wanna be left alone.

Pisces:

• are quiet little shits who looks way more gorgeous when they’re mad cos they just turn fiendish but still in a cute way, like wtf how???
• needs a fuck ton of guidance from older or more mature people cos they tend either the laziest, silliest, or most annoying things ever. 
• how fucking annoying it is whenever they pull out the victim card like dude shove that thing back where it belongs or so I will.
  
• are actually sensible people, kinda shocking for some but it’s the truth cos these people stay in tune with their emotions, they dun run away
• break them to pieces and you’ll see a child needing to be loved and wanting to know what are the things that they can improve and learn

(via wohenpiaoliang)